Last week, PETA Germany released the findings of its undercover investigation of three "free-range" egg farms. What the group found was pretty much the same kind of horror story that we've had in the U.S. and the U.K.: Far from the idyllic barnyards that people might associate with "humanely raised" or "free-range" eggs, the investigators for PETA Germany found thousands of hens confined to filthy, windowless sheds, just as chickens on "ordinary" factory farms are. The investigators videotaped dead and dying chickens among the living. Many birds were crawling with parasites, were missing most of their feathers, and had large sores all over their bodies, some of which oozed pus. In Germany, eggs labeled "bio " (organic and "humane") are supposed to come from chickens with access to the outdoors, but PETA Germany's investigators showed that the birds' access to the outdoors was often impeded or blocked, sometimes by live electrical wires!

On one farm, the investigators found exposed 15,000-volt electrical wiring that was shooting sparks. The hot wiring effectively confined birds to one section of the barn. In February, a neighboring barn with similar defective wiring burned down, killing 19,000 birds.

In 2010, PETA Germany caught another farm violating Germany's "bio" seal. The farmer now produces "free-range" eggs—the standards for which are less strict than those for the "bio" seal —but PETA Germany's most recent investigation documented apparent violations of those standards as well. The farmer has failed to provide the more than 9,000 chickens confined to his barns with minimum required space.

The 'Free-Range' Scam

"Free-range," "humanely raised," and "certified" labels in the U.S. can also be deceptive. The U.S. Department of Agriculture requires that "free-range" animals have access to outdoor areas, but the birds don't actually have to go outside, and some are too afraid to or are barred by impediments. United Egg Producers uses a label that reads, "United Egg Producers Certified," but this program is not regulated or enforced, and investigations have shown that companies using this label often do not treat chickens any differently than conventional factory farms do.

In fact, most "free-range" hens live in the same miserable, filthy factory farm conditions that "broiler" chickens (raised for their flesh) do. And like other factory-farmed hens, free-range hens are killed when their egg production begins to wane, at about 2 years of age.

Want to help hens? Stop eating eggs altogether. It's not hard. Just opt for egg replacers in baked goods and whip up some tasty, heart-healthy scrambled tofu for breakfast. For more hen-friendly cooking ideas, visit PETA.org/Living.

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Because we've heard from so many people who want to know more about PETA's position on "Flygate," we've decided to explore the question of "to bee or not to bee" in a bit more depth.

As we all know, human beings often don't think before they act. We don't condemn President Obama for acting on instinct. When the media began contacting us in droves for a statement, we obliged, simply by saying that the president isn't the Buddha and shouldn't be expected to do everything right—if not for that, we would not have brought it up. It's the media who are making a big deal about the fly swat—not PETA. However, we took the opportunity, when asked, to point out that we do offer lots of ways in which to control insects of all kinds without harming them, including the humane bug catcher we sent President Obama. There is even a chapter in PETA President Ingrid E. Newkirk's book The PETA Practical Guide to Animal Rights about how to rid your home of "uninvited guests."

We have lots of other items on our agenda, as you can imagine, and PETA's focus will remain on our core issues—promoting alternatives to eating animals, opposing fur and products made from animal skin, opposing laboratories that torment animals, and fighting the abuse of animals in circus training camps as well as other overt abuses that fall within our mission statement, which states that animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or use for entertainment.

We support compassion for all animals, even the most curious, smallest, and least sympathetic ones. We hope that everyone will take inspiration from Nobel Peace Prize–winner Dr. Albert Schweitzer, who believed that even insects were deserving of compassion and who would stop to move a worm from hot pavement to cool earth. Aware of the problems and responsibilities that go along with an expanded ethical code, Schweitzer said that we each must "live daily from judgment to judgment, deciding each case as it arises, as wisely and mercifully as we can."

We can't stop all suffering, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't stop any. Our wish is for all people to act wisely and mercifully toward animals.

Written by Alisa Mullins

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In an act of epic failure and cruelty, a Mendocino County, California, woman tried to handle the mouse problem in her trailer with a .44-caliber Magnum. The result: two injured people and several snickering mice.

Beyond her heavy-caliber lack of compassion for not realizing that mice can be controlled humanely (like, without the use of firearms in a small enclosed space), this woman gets extra points for managing to shoot two people by accident. Her domestic hunting expedition was cut short when she dropped the Magnum, causing it to fire. The bullet struck her in the kneecap (pwnd!) and went on to graze a nearby man's groin (dbl pwnd!) before ending up in his pocket. Hard to know what to say, really!

I love Fox news, my preferred news source for all things weird, for closing the story by reassuring everyone that "[t]he mice escaped the shooting unharmed."

If you run into this woman on the street, let her know we’ll be happy to send her a humane mousetrap to help her make a better decision next time, just in case her self-inflicted knee-capping wasn’t enough.

Posted by Sean Conner