When you mess with bears, sometimes you get hurt. Of course, PETA's "bear" didn't actually harm a hair on the heads of the animal abusers at Chief Saunooke Bear Park (CSBP) during a protest last weekend, but he and about two dozen of his friends did bite back against the cruelty at the vile roadside zoo.

PETA's protest comes less than a week after the release of the findings of our undercover investigation of CSBP that unearthed evidence of systemic neglect and abuse of bears (including shooting and eating one of them), threats of violence, illegal drug use, sexual harassment, and racism by the park's staff. We are calling for the closure of the hellish bear pits and the seizure of the surviving animals.

What You Can Do

If you didn't make it to the demonstration, don't worry—you can still help the bears suffering at CSBP by asking the U.S. Department of Agriculture to confiscate all animals from the shabby roadside zoo immediately and place them in a suitable sanctuary.

furryscaly/CC by 2.0

You'd think that after a Connecticut woman's face was ripped off by her friend's "pet" chimpanzee—or after a toddler was strangled to death by her family's python and a 9-year-old girl was mauled to death by her stepfather's pet tiger—that lawmakers would step in and put an end to the carnage.

Well, they're about to, at least in Oregon: Starting in January, the state will no longer issue new permits for exotic animals—including big cats, nonhuman primates, crocodiles, and most bears—and existing permits will expire if the animal dies or is sold.

This is a good first step, but more needs to be done. Keeping tigers, reptiles, and bears in cages is like lighting a fuse and pretending that it won't go off. It's time for federal lawmakers to put a stop to it once and for all. Please contact our Action Team to request materials that can help you start a campaign to ban the keeping of exotic animals as "pets" in your area.

Written by Paula Moore

In early February, after we were alerted to the fact that Will Ferrell's latest movie, Semi-Pro, was to feature scenes in which Will (or, more likely, a stunt double) wrestled a live bear, PETA sent a letter to his agents letting them know about the very real cruelty that goes on behind the scenes any time an "animal actor" is trawled out for a stunt in a movie. The disturbing news that the very same bear who was used in the movie attacked and killed his trainer yesterday has put the whole thing in a new light.

It's pretty rare that people catch a glimpse of the way the animals they see in TV shows or movies are really treated (as you might imagine, they're not natural actors — they're often beaten to perform). But we're hoping that this incident, sad as it is, will encourage Hollywood actors to take a stand against performing with animals, who want to be movie stars about as much as they want to be stuck in a cage for the rest of their lives (which is pretty much the standard accommodation for a great many of the animals who are used by Hollywood). The only really surprising thing about yesterday's tragic bear attack is that it didn't happen sooner.

We're asking Will Ferrell to pledge never to act with wild animals again. I'll let you know if he gets back to us. In the meantime, you can read our letter here.

I’ve been following the continued exploits of the black bear who’s been showing up at all of Prince Charles’ appearances in the Caribbean lately, to help remind the Brits that the Queen’s Guard’s regiments should make their hats out of, well, something that’s not bears. Shenanigans have been unfolding on the trip with a good degree of regularity, and the reports from the bear and her companion, Melissa, make for excellent reading. Here’s an example from last week:

Subject: Report from Montego Bay, 3-13 - PETA bear crashes royal party!

Today we drove 4 hours to Montego Bay where we’d arranged for a boat to take us as close as possible to The Prince’s yacht, The Leander. When we arrived security was familiarly tight so, we asked around and discovered C&C were having a party at the same resort, right near the beach where we’d board.

Here’s a photo near The Leander.

Then we headed back to the resort JUST in time for the party but we had to be subtle so, the bear laid down in the boat as we approached:

We disembarked just steps from the royals’ reception:

And were greeted by some of the children there to perform and greet the royals:

And then we just walked in…

We mingled with a few guests.

The band

More of the children, of course.

And even British members of the press who refused to take photos of us. So, we took photos of them.

Then we were spotted by one of Charles’s chief security officers. We know him. He knows us. :)

These people seem not to like bears seeing as they kill them and kick them out of parties.

We were escorted off premises.

And we were interrogated for a long while.

Because we’d reserved the boat ahead of time and paid the resort, threats of being charged with trespassing didn’t stick. Tomorrow we return to Kingston, home of Bob Marley.

According to the British music magazine NME, Irish sperm donors are in short supply and one enterprising sperm bank has come up with an incentive scheme in time for St. Patrick’s Day (donations in exchange for contest tickets).

Always ready to help (and mindful of how good fruit and veggies prove in fertility studies), PETA is offering a special St. Patrick’s Day T-shirt to help remind anyone with a touch of the Blarney that drinking milk can lower their sperm count. I defy anyone to choose a pint of milk over a pint of Guinness after looking at this particular masterpiece.

Anyway, good luck lads, and happy, um, donating.

Alright people, fun’s over. You had your day with Joel talking about soy nog and “smiles”. Now it’s time to get back to work. Today we will be going over the finer points of whether a coherent liberationist ethic can be constructed from strictly utilitarian arguments (or whether some sort of deontological consequentialism is necessary to round out the debate), and throughout next week, I will be doing a series on recent addenda to the Humane Methods of Livestock Slaughter Act. There will be a quiz on Friday to make sure everyone takes it all in.

Now, here’s a picture of the serious work I was doing yesterday while Joel was goofing off back at the office. We spent the afternoon outside the British Embassy in DC to remind the British Ministry of Defense that the “world is watching” while they continue to needlessly slaughter black bears for their ceremonial hats. Apparently this required that we remove all of our clothes and paint our naked bodies like flags. Hey, I just do what I’m told. The demonstration was a blast—we met some great activists, some friendly photographers, and some very bewildered passersby, and I think the pictures came out really well. Check em out.

A bunch of flags

This Sunday, at Churchill Downs racetrack, thousands of spectators gathered to watch the Kentucky Derby, brought to you by KFC parent company Yum! Brands—kind of like a little mini convention for animal abusers, where the horse people and the chicken people could get together and talk torture tactics. A cruelty conference, if you will. Or a suffering summit. OK, I'm done, I promise. But one bright spot in the event came in the form of PETA's Bear, who has been following the Queen everywhere she goes on her U.S. visit to draw attention to the fact that her Guards' regiment wear dead bears on their heads, despite the fact that it is now the 21st century. The bear, as usual, was a big hit, and the pictures from the protest are awesome. Ten points for anyone who can identify the Houston Texans lineman in the bottom pic. Also, check out the great news coverage of the bear's nationwide tour here.

Some kindhearted paperboys at the derby helped the bear out by putting leaflets in the newspapers they were passing out to the crowd.

P.S. Don't forget that this week is Be Kind to Animals week. To get things started, you might want to have a look at some of the tips on how to keep your companion animals happy here.

Against the wishes of a number of concerned residents—and probably quite a few bears—a federal judge allowed a bear hunt to go forward this week in a wildlife preserve in Hampton Roads, Virginia, near where PETA is based. Hunters from all over the area converged on Monday to violently kill bears in the Great Dismal Swamp National Wildlife Refuge. As it turns out, bears are better at surviving in swamps than jackasses, and not a single animal was shot, according to yesterday's Virginian Pilot, though one hunter did get lost within 50 yards of a road and had to call 911. A fleeting victory, perhaps, but a victory nonetheless. Nice work, bears.

In Other News

Tiger expresses his frustration at being made to perform
San Francisco thinks new dairy ad campaign stinks
Hunting Accident!
KFC is, officially, 'filthy'