It's a hazy day here on the Right Coast. As I watch leaves fall and steam rise from my soy mocha, the mood is set for a lazy (yet highly skilled) meander through gossip rags for fun stuff. Here are my faves:

• Warning! Seals can literally cute you to death.
• Kiddies catch E. coli from petting zoo. Animals unnaturally held captive. Why is this still appealing?
• "Clucking" mad at KFC? I bet that's why this chicken wanders through its drive-through.
• The real Scorpion King creatively atones for his sins. Love this!
• Sesame Street reps tofu! The revolution is here!
• Lacking imagination and compassion, yet another "Elmer Fudd" accidentally shoots himself.
• Hug a Vegetarian Day is right around the corner. Show some love, y'all!
• This is both creepy and thought-provoking.

Thanks for stopping by! Catch you next time, and don't forget to hug all your vegetarian friends.

Written by Missy Lane

That’s right, it’s time for another arbitrary assortment of at least tangentially animal-related links that I’m too lazy to write a full post about. Actually, that doesn’t sound very appealing at all. Ladies and gentlemen, a very warm welcome to this week’s Internet Soup—a wild and wacky collection of the latest animal rights news, videos, and photos painstakingly researched by everybody’s favorite PETA blogger* and served up piping hot with a pithy little introduction that’s guaranteed to tantalize and amuse! Here we go:

1. Your long search for animal-friendly body frosting is finally over!
2. I wouldn’t be too surprised to find out that chimps are better at remembering stuff than I am, but do they have better memories than all of us?
3. If you wouldn’t hunt a muppet, please don’t hunt any animals.
4. This crow and kitten are fast friends. The whole thing is just nauseatingly cute.
5. Cameroon gorillas return home.
6. Ingrid Newkirk interviews with the Environmental News Network.
7. PETA’s lettuce ladies are everywhere. Check out this pic from the Barry Bonds trial.

Hopefully that’ll be enough to tide you over through the weekend, and if you’re in the mood for something a little more arcane, you can always check out my fictional blog—a little slice of the 17th century that my closest friends have described as “completely unreadable.”

And finally, we’re going to be doing a bit of maintenance on the ol’ blog this weekend, so the comments may be down for a little while, but everything will be up and running by Monday. Have a good weekend!

*That’s right, Amy and Karen. I said it.

Update: The event was a huge success! Pam dished out plate after plate of the faux turkey, which was a big hit with the guests at the homeless shelter. Check out these exclusive pics:

Pamela Anderson will be spending some time at a homeless shelter in Las Vegas this evening to serve an early Thanksgiving dinner to homeless families in the area. And Pam’s act of charity will also be setting an example for people who want to make Turkey Day a bit kinder on the turkeys, as the dinner she’s serving is 100 percent vegetarian, with Garden Protein’s amazing faux turkey as its centerpiece. All of the veggie turkey (which you can get in any Whole Foods, btw) was donated by the folks at Garden Protein. Here’s what Pam had to say about the event,

Pam was inspired to host the event after she saw video footage from PETA's recent investigation at a turkey slaughterhouse, which showed workers striking and handling birds so roughly that the animals suffered broken bones. Not to be too much of a downer here since this is a really positive story, but the footage is heartbreaking, and it shows standard practices in turkey slaughterhouses around the country, which should make anyone think twice about eating turkeys this Thanksgiving.

The good news is that there are some wonderful alternatives, and if you’re trying to come up with a menu for your Thanksgiving dinner this year, you could do a whole lot worse than the feast that Pam is serving tonight, including Veggie Stuffed Turkey Roast with wild rice and cranberries donated by Garden Protein, mashed potatoes with veggie gravy, and garlic-braised collards.

I’ll have pictures of the event up later tonight, so be sure to check back!

And if you’re still undecided about whether to have an all-vegetarian Thanksgiving this year, this is the footage from our recent investigation which inspired Pam to host the event.

Have you voted for North America’s sexiest vegetarian yet? Here's an interview with one of the finalists in Sacramento.

I had heard of this video about the “Bionic Burger” but I had never seen it until today. Gross.

Nancy from LA sent me this amazing story about a cat who must have heard about the Iams recall and took matters into her own hands, err, paws. Nancy said the cat must have decided, "Screw this, I'm going for fish and chips."

Guess which dinosaur is an ancestor to the chicken.

In case you're looking for another reason to go vegetarian . . . bacon may cause lung damage. For real.

Is your rescued dog lonely? Maybe this could help. I don’t even want to think about the cleanup.

Chicken ghost stories.

Andy Dick is funny. Check out his spoof Gap ad.

And finally, here’s a great piece from ABC on our chinchilla ranch investigation.

As always, if you find something cool on the Internet that you think other PETA Files readers would like, be sure to send it to me. Thanks!

After noticing that a female lobster in the tank at the Men’s Club of Reno was pregnant and carrying eggs, the club’s promotions director and lifelong vegetarian, Aquila Nelson, sprang into action. She convinced the club’s manager to let her free the lobster and called us for instructions on what to do. To make a long story short, the lobster has since been released in protected waters in New Hampshire! Check out what Aquila had to say about the ordeal: "I couldn’t bear the thought of this animal and her babies being thrown into a pot of boiling water. Whether they have claws or paws, no animal deserves to be tortured like that." Aquila, you're awesome.

I’ve got some wild stuff for you this week, so let’s get into it.

This couple REALLY loved their dog. Um, wow.

I don’t particularly like Alanis Morissette or the Black Eyed Peas all that much, but somehow putting them together is, well, magical.

I promise I didn't take the clown’s missing bike, but I bet the tip line in the story works for telling Ringling what you think of its animal abuse too.

Did you see the story about blood from an animal lab spraying out of a sewer onto people on the street? So disgusting.

Here’s a pretty decent piece about pork from The New York Times, just in time for Easter.

OK, is it me or is this just beyond crazy? We’re at war and the Army is spending millions putting on a rodeo. WTF, Army?

I love this funny bit about PETA protesting the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Amnesty Internation protesting PETA, the ACLU protesting Amnesty, the Christian Coalition protesting the ACLU, and Fred Phelps protesting everyone and everything. A for effort on this one, Spoof guys.

Zoos will do anything to get their animals to breed so they can make a buck, I swear.

These videos show just how insane and detached from the rest of the world the pork industry really is. Insanity.

And finally . . .

Here’s a short animated video about the seal hunt, done by Canadian Graeme MacKay, editorial cartoonist from The Hamilton Spectator.

It’s not out in theaters until April 13th, but my friend Bruce went to an advanced screening and told me that Year of the Dog is an amazing movie for anyone who loves animals.

It’s got a great cast led by Molly Shannon, Peter Sarsgaard, John C. Reilly and Regina King, so this will be a good one to take your non-animal'ey friends and family to. And a good way to invite them to see it is by sending them one of these e-cards. I’ve been sending them all day! Here's one I made with my friend Princess Cuteyface. Whatever. You try telling her she's not a dog, and see where it gets you.

Meet the ‘Dog of the Year’