It's a hazy day here on the Right Coast. As I watch leaves fall and steam rise from my soy mocha, the mood is set for a lazy (yet highly skilled) meander through gossip rags for fun stuff. Here are my faves:

• Warning! Seals can literally cute you to death.
• Kiddies catch E. coli from petting zoo. Animals unnaturally held captive. Why is this still appealing?
• "Clucking" mad at KFC? I bet that's why this chicken wanders through its drive-through.
• The real Scorpion King creatively atones for his sins. Love this!
• Sesame Street reps tofu! The revolution is here!
• Lacking imagination and compassion, yet another "Elmer Fudd" accidentally shoots himself.
• Hug a Vegetarian Day is right around the corner. Show some love, y'all!
• This is both creepy and thought-provoking.

Thanks for stopping by! Catch you next time, and don't forget to hug all your vegetarian friends.

Written by Missy Lane

David Gozal
louisville / CC

It's time once again for my favorite PETA Files feature: our Vivisector of the Month contest. Each and every month, I read up on two of our nation's most vile vivisectors and let you, our dear readers, decide who is the worst by voting.

Let me begin by recognizing Marina Picciotto, whose primate addiction studies and mouse torture won her the undesirable title of Most Vile Vivisector last month. Her competitor was much-derided Allyson Bennett. Congrats, Marina—I'm certain Yale and all of New Haven are glad to have you!

This month, we have another two truly bizarre candidates … just see for yourself.

David Gozal of the Kosair Children's Hospital Research Institute in Louisville has a bit of a problem. He is fascinated by erections—mouse erections, to be exact. He passes his days in the lab getting up close and very personal with little boy-mice, studying their erections and even severing their spinal cords so that they cannot move while experimenters observe their penises.

In his most recent study, "Erectile Dysfunction in a Murine [Mouse] Model of Sleep Apnea," which was funded in part by the federal government, Gozal measured the number of erections and ejaculations in dozens of mice after placing them in a chamber to deprive them of oxygen. Some mice were also given tadalafil, an erectile dysfunction drug. They were then killed by puncturing their hearts with a needle, and their testicles and penises were cut out of their bodies for examination. Gozal concluded that oxygen deprivation makes it more difficult to get an erection and that tadalafil, which is already prescribed (as “Cialis”) for humans with erectile dysfunction, works in mice.

Experiments on pigs

Daniel Traber of the University of Texas Medical Branch Department of Anesthesiology has made a living for almost three decades by burning animals' skin off. In a recent experiment, he either torched mice with a Bunsen burner until more than 40 percent of their bodies was charred or forced them to inhale smoke. A few select mice got the full treatment—they were both burned and forced to inhale smoke. Some died during the experiment, and survivors were subsequently killed.

In another study, Traber heated an aluminum bar to nearly 400 degrees with a Bunsen burner and roasted the skin of live pigs on it for 30 seconds, creating a series of deep burns that covered 15 percent of their bodies. In order to repair the deliberately injured animals, Traber and colleagues then removed skin from the pigs' legs to graft over the areas that had been burned off. After living through all this torture, the pigs were killed. Again, this is only his most recent work—Traber has been burning, mutilating, and killing sheep for years.

Who should win? The Children's Hospital Vivisector or the Bunsen Burninator? As always, let me help you decide by posing a question: Would you rather be molested, stabbed in the heart, and have your genitals torn out, or would you rather be roasted alive over a Bunsen burner, forced to inhale the smell of your burning flesh, and then killed?

It's a burning question, isn't it?

Written by Sean Conner

Shortly after Eight Belles’ death, I wrote something of a dissertation in response to some folks who had taken the opportunity to claim that horses love racing because they’re, like, “born to run” or whatever. But here’s a little visual aid for anyone who remains unconvinced. This clip is from the Brooklyn Handicap stakes race that took place on June 6 at Belmont. The jockey is John Velazquez, and the horse is Nite Light—who, as far as I can tell, likes horse racing about as much as I do.

If you were watching the news last week, you probably caught the story about vivisectors at the University of Pittsburgh who—to hear the media report it—have performed "groundbreaking" work that will help people with paralyzing conditions gain more control over their lives.So what did these miracle workers do? They sawed into the skulls of monkeys, implanted tiny electrodes in the monkeys' brains, and trained the monkeys to perform certain tasks. In similar studies, experimenters "train" monkeys by depriving them of water for extended periods of time so that out of thirsty desperation, the monkeys will comply. The electrodes in the monkeys' brains were attached to a computer, and the computer was attached to a robotic arm. The vivisectors restrained the monkeys' arms and had the animals use their thoughts to move the robotic arm to their mouths so that they could get the food. Now, this may sound pretty extraordinary. The thing is that the experiments had already been performed on humans by researchers at Brown University nearly two years ago! Of course, in the case of the human studies, the people weren't taken from their families and imprisoned alone in tiny metal and concrete cages, where they could only take a single step in any direction; they weren't kept thirsty and hungry so that they could be "trained"; and they weren't deprived of the feeling of the ground beneath their feet, the warmth of the sun on their backs, the wind in their faces, and everything else that is natural and important to them.It would seem that the lives of the monkeys used in the University of Pittsburgh's experiments are worth so little to the vivisectors that they continue to abuse and torment them, just to duplicate concepts already proved using humans. PETA primate specialist Dr. Debra Durham, who has worked in primate labs and knows firsthand how ugly these places are, minces no words when describing what happens to monkeys in these hellholes: —GracePosted by Grace Freidan, Researcher

You’d be surprised, actually. I know that my friend Melissa Karpel and her family (who were the activists in this case) certainly weren’t expecting things to turn out the way they did. The reason this all came about was for Morgan Spurlock’s series, 30 Days, in which people from opposite sides of an issue spend a month together to see what will happen (in one of the episodes, for instance, a woman who believes homosexuality is a sin moves in with a gay couple raising a family). But what I like best about this show is that it’s not one of these cheap reality TV stunts that are designed to have people at each other’s throats—it’s a very thoughtful look at how reasonable people with strong convictions on opposite sides of an ideal adjust to spending time with each other. And the upcoming show, starring George Snedeker and the Karpels, is a wonderful example of the philosophy behind 30 Days in action. You don’t see them, because I don’t publish them, but I get a number of fairly abusive comments on this blog from people who have decided that they think animal rights is a waste of time, and feel the need to try and insult and belittle people who have devoted their lives to helping animals—but for every ignorant person like that, there’s a George Snedeker, who, while he may not share our convictions, is willing to listen with an open mind and engage in a genuine discussion about the issues. I won’t spoil the show for you by telling you how it turns out, but you should definitely check it out if you get the opportunity. It’s on FX on June 17 at 10:00pm. I’ll post again when it’s airing as a reminder. In the meantime, here are some pics:


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After much hype around Big Brown's quarter hoof split, with the spotlight on the trainer and the owner and everyone else surrounding this “pushed” horse, it seems that he was finally allowed to run what may well have been the first natural race of his life. And the result is he showed how he really feels: tired and lame. Big Brown’s jockey did the right thing and pulled him up, sensing that the horse just didn’t have it in him. History has been made.Ten states already ban steroids, and the rest need to follow suit. PETA will be pushing for illegal and legal drug use to end and for horses to be allowed to be themselves. If money can’t be made honestly and comes at the expense of breaking animals' bodies and souls, then it shouldn’t be made at all. Please join us in urging Congress to properly investigate horse-racing cruelty by using this web form.PETA demonstrators flooded the Belmont yesterday in huge numbers. Here are some pictures:








Photo Credit: Jason Allen Photography

It’s kinda like when someone asks you to do a project for them at the office, and you forward it on to a colleague in the hopes that you can get out of doing the work yourself. Except when most people do that, it means that, like, a report doesn’t get written or something. When a State’s Attorney tries to do it with a high-profile case, that can be a little bit more of a big deal. A few days ago, PETA called on Kentucky's Commonwealth Attorney Dave Stengel to investigate criminal charges in the Eight Belles case under the state's cruelty-to-animals statute, but we’ve just learned that Mr. Stengel has denied jurisdiction (i.e., he’s trying to wiggle out of it). So we urgently need to put pressure on the governor to tell Dave Stengel to do his job. You can help us out by writing to Governor Steve Beshear through our online form.The horseracing industry would like nothing better than to see this story go away, and it’s absolutely imperative that we find out the full details surrounding Eight Belles’ death while we still can.--JackPosted by Jack Shepherd, Marketing Coordinator

Well hello there, ladies and gents!Awww! Aren't you sweet tryin' to give your love something special? Well, if you've been stressed about how to get the attention of the cute veg girl at your job or just need some fresh ideas for the hot vegan you've already scored, look no further!From ritzy getaways to love on the cheap, there's something for everyone in here. I've compiled this list by scouring the Earth (well, the Web) and interviewing countless awesome vegan couples. As you can imagine, there's no shortage of those around this here campfire. Let's get this party started!NUMBER 10!This one's for the big spenders. Take that dime piece of yours (that's slang for calling them a "10") to a vegan bed and breakfast in the country of their choosing. NUMBER 9!Switch out the household cleaning products in your house with cruelty-free options. So selfless. So precious. Big brownie points coming your way!NUMBER 8!Have a picnic! Cook for them—the most important ingredient is love. It doesn't matter if it's lopsided and slightly burnt—you made it, and that means the world to your loved one. Of course, if you're quite adventurous, you may peruse VegCooking.com for amazing recipes at the click of a mouse.NUMBER 7!Have a vegan potluck/dinner party. Encourage your new flame by gathering his or her friends around in yummy support. Whether or not your friends are veg yet, it's an awesome opportunity to put animal rights into focus in a positive way while creating a supportive environment for veggieness to flourish. And of course, there's the free food factor :-)NUMBER 6!Feeling a little more frisky? You can give a box o' cruelty-free love containing vegan chocolate syrup, vegan whipped cream, vegan high heels, and edible undies. NUMBER 5!Cruelty-free makeup is always a good choice! You may peruse this classy site for options. Though I would strongly recommend a gift certificate, as trying to guess at a thing like foundation shade can get messy.NUMBER 4!Take her on a shopping spree! I mean, really. This is easy-peasy. :-) www.petacatalog.org <-- get at that. Buy her flowers, chocolates, clothes ... the options are endless!NUMBER 3!Take him on a shopping spree! Get that man a snazzy leather-free wallet. If that's a little too pricey, you can try one made of duct tape. You can also go classic with a nice pair of kicks or a belt.NUMBER 2!Volunteer at an animal sanctuary together. Oh my word! Can you hear my heart pitter-patter? My personal favorite is The Elephant Sanctuary. It's probably the greatest thing I can think of. If you have no idea of the torturous conditions from which some of these magnificent creatures are rescued, look here and then here. Now that you are rightfully enraged, go here. (You see?! The greatest thing EVER!) As you sop away the tears—or simmer down your desire to tase a circus "trainer"—consider a peaceful getaway to Tennessee.NUMBER 1!GO VEGAN! Oh, come on, now. Like you didn't see this one coming! Honestly, you adore the one you're with, and since they're with you, it clearly proves their discriminating taste. So why not explore what else touches their heart? Even Oprah's trying veganism out for a whole 21 days. Surely you could give it a little go? Well, there you have it—the latest installment of ways to wow your vegan honey. I hope you are inspired to great feats of animal-friendly love.--MissyPosted by Missy Lane, Public Information Specialist

After covering the zoo-prison connection just recently, the folks at The Onion have put together a spoof news story highlighting how absolutely ridiculous (and—dare I say—lowbrow) "donkey basketball" is.


2-Year-Old Donkey Called Up To Pro Donkey Basketball League
It's worth noting the newscasters' description of Nubbins, who drops in weight and perceived value as he stops performing for the crowd: He ends up "tethered to a trailer out back" and dumped at a roadside petting zoo. Surely, high school and community fundraisers could come up with more compassionate and less absolutely weird sporting events than these. I mean, we've established that people often play basketball without donkeys, right?--SeanPosted by Sean Conner, Laboratory Investigations Special Projects Coordinator

OK, here's the thing: You don't have to be a rocket scientist to understand the handful of regulations that govern the treatment of animals in laboratories. What's required of folks who use animals in laboratories is so embarrassingly obvious—animals who are sick or injured need veterinary care, animals who are too ill to be treated should be euthanized, dogs should be exercised, cages should be cleaned, and so on. And yet, vivisectors in labs across the country violate federal law every single day. Take this situation at Pierce College: A whistleblower has informed PETA that animals are being abused and killed in classroom laboratories by an instructor (Christa Slattery) and her students, in apparent violation of federal animal welfare regulations. The whistleblower told us that Slattery operates her classes like a "free for all," allowing students to poke, prod, bleed, and inject animals with minimum guidance or instruction. And reportedly, when Slattery gets to the animals, it seems that she barely knows what she's doing! The whistleblower told PETA that Slattery tried to push a large mouse into a small tube to restrain the mouse; she wondered whether the tube was too small but just shrugged her shoulders and continued to force the mouse into the tube. Minutes later, the mouse was dead. Here's what the whistleblower had to say about the matter: And here's what PETA's director of laboratory investigations told the media today: If you'd like to write to the veterinary school about this issue, you can do so through the handy Web form here.—GracePosted by Grace Freidan, Researcher